


How To Successfully Rule An Entire Country Without Really Trying

by LadyNoir



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, I Don't Even Know, I'm Going to Hell, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-26
Updated: 2014-02-26
Packaged: 2018-01-13 19:30:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1238257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyNoir/pseuds/LadyNoir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For my favorite fictional villain ever <br/>Loki Of Asgard. Because you really could've ruled the world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How To Successfully Rule An Entire Country Without Really Trying

So yeah whether you've feel like you were burdened with a glorious purpose, or born to be king or queen or whatever you feel like doing there, here are some easy steps for you to follow, because really... Who would follow someone who is disorganized, if you want to rule something you should at least have a plan.

 

Now you might be thinking to yourself "I do what I want bitch" and yes I know that you can do whatever pleases you, but hey! Aren't you the one that want to rule an entire race? If you are that person then this is your book! And also you might want me to stop rambling nonsense, but sorry no can do, as a polite person I am entitled to give you an introduction so thats exactly what I'm doing. So assuming that you are extremely good looking and somehow your name goes along the lines of mischief this should be easy for you.   

 

Now for the steps you are bound to follow (if you want of course, no one is making you we already stated that you do what you want)

 

1\. Leave your evil plans behind: sorry if this disappoint you, but we cant exactly be evil if we want to rule an entire race, not at the beginning at least, everything is optional, but i strongly recommend you to keep your evil schemes in a safe until a bit later in the process. All evil ideas or plans safe somewhere, we can go to step two.

 

2\. Meet people: even if you are socially awkward you have to meet your foes and allies eventually, keep your eyes open for people of power (political allies) those are often easily coerced with money or offers of more power and are normally quite stupid in other areas, those are your main targets if you want to go up in your social staircase.

 

3\. Have a tragic backstory: wether is that you are the adopted brother that was left aside and always lived in the shadows of your super jock blond brother or anything else people will feel sorry for you and you can use that sentimentalism for your advantage, you have nothing to loose and besides bitches love tragic backstories.

 

4\. Always be polite: it doesn't matter if the person that you are talking to has lowered the IQ of the entire street by saying just one word, take a breath and have patience, remember that all this will be worth it when you are sitting on your golden throne or the oval room of the white house, whatever fits you.

 

5\. Be the personification of innocence: even if you are not, that way people will underestimate you and you will know who are your true allies and who deserve to be killed on the spot ( but no killing at this stage, please)

 

6\. Don't show off your power: let the others think that they are in control, people like that. Ask for their opinions and let them feel higher than you, letting them fall later will be fun to watch.

 

7\. Smile: just do, innocent smiles even cheeky ones, people like when others smile, besides a pretty smile can cover up many things ;)

 

8\. Be charming: compliment people on their ugly dresses or tuxedos, compliment them on their weird hats, or just compliment them win them over with rainbows and butterflies and then feel the pleasure of eventually stabbing them on the back tenderly (just like in that episode of Sherlock in which Dean Thomas was a royal guard) they wont feel anything until they are lying in a pool of their own blood.

 

9\. Lie: yes as you read lie. Learn the art of lying. If you are a liar by nature then good for you, if you are not then don't worry, not everyone can be a silvertoungue or a liesmith, but you can learn, remember that practice makes perfect!

 

10\. Fangirls: if you want to rule something there is something you really got to have, and it is a steady fan base. Your fangirls or fanboys will be your personal army and the ones you can truly rely on. They will have your back in every situation and will justify all your actions... Even if the actions are killing eighty people in two days

 

"He's not a psychopath, he's simply misunderstood"

"But he kille-"

"HES FUCKING MISUNDERSTOOD YOU WOULD'VE DONE THE FUCKING SAME"

 

And they will threaten anyone who means a thread to you.

 

 

Now that you have read the ten easy steps of successfully ruling a country without really trying you are ready to embark into your own journey. And if your ruling doesn't work  you can always become a tumblr god, where you will be reblogged 24/7 and millions of fangirls will venerate you.

 

Have fun and may the force be with you


End file.
